Let’s see, if I am remembering this correctly the last time a post was made on this blog was back in May.
Honestly that is just way too long. For the last couple of years this blog has been a place for me to vent, a place where I felt it was safe to pour out my heart and my mind.
I am Seventeen now, my first post was made when I was Fourteen a lot has happened since that first post.
I have learned a lot about myself, my family, my new friends, and my Savior.
I’m not going to act like the last three years have been easy, because they haven’t been at all.
If life was meant to be easy we wouldn’t ever learn anything.
During the time between fourteen and seventeen I struggled on and off with severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and crippling anxiety. I even considered myself an atheist at one point. It’s been a long journey, a very long journey.
But honestly, I don’t think I would change one second if it. I know, I know, that sounds crazy, but let’s be real for a moment. If I had not suffered the way that I did I would not be the person that I am today. If I had not gone through those trials I would probably still be an atheist.
So, why am I rambling on and on about my struggles?
Because struggles make us stronger.
Yeah I know, that sounds horribly cliche, but when are the cliche things not true?
I don’t want you thinking that because I no longer have those specific struggles that my life is just peachy keen, it is far from it.
This year specifically has been extremely hard on me. 2016 was the year that everything was going to get better, it was the year that life would be great, 2016 was going to be my year.
2016 was the year that every time one good thing happened, two bad things happen.
At the beginning of the year I fell in love with the most wonderful guy, we’ve been officially together for almost four months, but we’ve been “a thing” since April.
That’s one good thing.
Now here are the two bad things.
My Mom found out she was pregnant towards the end of February, by mid April we had lost the baby.
In June my cat Chipper became very ill very suddenly, she died after two weeks of fighting.
There a plenty of other things that have happened this year, but those three things were some of the biggest.
I’m almost eighteen, I’ll be going to college in a few years, I’ll be married by the time I’m twenty one, and hopefully I’ll be moving to Germany by the time I’m thirty.
This is officially my last post on this blog.
I will be starting a new one soon, don’t worry.
The chapter of my life that this blog was apart of ended a long time ago and now It is simply a reminder of all the pain I was in when I was younger. It is a reminder that I thought I wasn’t good enough.
I do not want to have those reminders anymore.
So, this is Goodbye.